lately
and it always seems
like lately
uncovering truths
that were based in lies
disappoints me
crying alone
no one can see
even when i am finding myself
that therapy
sounds like
failure
fixing a failure
i have to be honest
but
fixing a failure
is respectable
it’s just hard to do
when everyone is watching you
it’s just hard
when you think
others are judging you
it’s just hard because
I can’t stop judging me
I need a release
of fear
jixi fox 🦊
existing everyday
some of those nights
rough
existing everyday
is sometimes
not enough
because what we not going to do
is sleep on my rise
for in the end
maybe the same night
you will be in for a surprise
jixi fox 🦊
i got so use to running away
tired but i still did
i wanted to cry
but i held the tears within
trying to be better
daily
struggled so much
just to not be unhappy
i had to love the process
each moment was a reflection
every failure was a injection
a fuel
to not experience that pain
gain
so a created elements everyday
to be sane
to never complain
until i achieved
jixi fox 🦊
one of the hardest things to do
is to let go
of my hand
i can’t carry
or lead you
only one
can’t be two
i have somewhere to go
and you can’t come
where i am heading is dark
it won’t be fun
stay safe, away
jixi fox 🦊
i felt afraid
and nervous
to reach out to you
feeling anxious
tripping over my thoughts
over thinking every angle
feeling like i failed
without trying
i wanted to tell you
you mean so much to me
i don’t have words
so i never used them
jixi fox 🦊
when I fell
i fell deeply
secretly falling in love too soon
every sunrise
every fall moon
i couldn’t imagine
a day not seeing you
until the very day
you said we need to talk
my heart beat heavier
after every thought
after every walk
each step
had me in disbelief
we met face to face
and you told me
we have to go
our separate ways
my heart broke
wishing i had ran away
to never hear those words
now i stand stuck
and broken
jixi fox 🦊
unmatched and unsure
my needs demands
more than i can give
having not forgiven myself
for the past deeds
greed feeds on me
leaving me lean
without cutting fat
i loss belly fat
but grew a bigger back
i stretched my arms out
reaching for a touch
a feeling
a meaning
a season of rush
to be closer to sane
training everyday
just to
put two plus two
and just be even
jixi fox 🦊
licking lips
every sip is the juiciest
the mess left
makes others upset
don’t be rude
if in nude
please put back
in your tongue
for the mood
is smooth
in case
you never knew
whenever there is
sugar there is fun
jixi fox 🦊
missing for unknown reasons
you left without a note
my hope was to see you
but now that’s not even a hope
i thought just maybe
i missed you mere moments
but online
i saw you were afloat
on someone’s boat
liquor pouring down your throat
cheeks out hanging
like climbing a rope
i just don’t know
maybe i was just pretending
thought forever was tomorrow
but no
the movie had ended
it’s over
jixi fox 🦊